Just Pretend

Hello there my fancy friends, thank you so much for tuning in today. Halloween is fast approaching us, and if you're an interior design, furniture, and architecture nerd looking for a last minute costume idea, you came to the right place. This is an easy, creative outfit that you can put together with things you probably already own. Pulling it off is all in the attitude, and we’re going to look at some famous instances of characters pretending to be architects to help us perfect the technique. We are going to learn how to fake being an architect so well that your friends and family will wonder if you’re in costume or actually changed careers.

But first, let’s talk about the color of the week. It’s full blown spooky season right now and everything is getting a chance to embrace its dark side. From ghoulish costumes to creepy colored treats, black is the staple color of the season. That’s why Pantone Pirate Black 19-4305 is our color of the week. This super deep charcoal color is dark enough to send chills to anyone who sees it, but just soft enough for it  to play well with others. For a truly fun halloween palette, pair this shade with hot magenta, witch’s brew purple, and the glow of a blue moon to tie everything together.

With any costume, attitude is important but, the look is the most crucial part. For that, we can look to classic architects such as Le Corbusier, Tadao Ando, and Zaha Hadid. The key with these icon’s style is to dress in all black, head to toe. This is the unofficial architects’ uniform, and while plenty of us designers break away from this unwritten law, being draped in black is a sign of restraint, style, taste, but also shows that you’re too busy to put together a creative OOTD, because you’re schedule is packed with designing buildings and meeting  clients. 

Hair can be any of the following - completely bald, an Anna Wintour style bob with bangs, or a super longer slicked back low ponytail, preferably gray. Accessories are a balancing act. Consider wearing perfectly round spectacles, a black cape, or a black bow tie - but never all three at once. What will prevent you from being mistaken for a magician is holding something like an oversized roll of drawings, a ruler of any kind, a pentel sign pen, or if you really want to put in some effort, try making a scaled foam core  building model of any shape or size to carry around all night. Avoid carrying a T-square unless you’re going for a specific retro time period of architect like Mike Brady or Louis Kahn.

Now that you look the part, you have to know how to sell it. I can think of a few times in movies and TV where we’ve seen someone try to pull off faking architecture as a profession. The movie “There’s Something About Mary” features Matt Dillion’s character Pat Healy chasing after the titular Mary, played by Cameron Diaz. Mary mentions to her friends that she’d love to date an architect, particularly because of their ability to be self-employed. This inspires Pat and Mary’s friend Tucker to both claim architecture as their profession in order to win her over. 

Mary meets up with both Pat and Tucker at an architecture exhibit and asks Pat if a tri-colored, almost post-modern office building model is Art Deco or Art Nouveau, to which her date responds confidently that it is Deco. When she asks for clarification between certain terminology on another piece, Matt Dillion wisely responds -“when you're looking at architecture, try to visualize the buildings as a whole. Try to see them in their natural state. In their Totalitarianism.” Word choice aside, this is a perfect response because not only does it allow Pat to get out of answering the question, but it's also something I say all the time. Think about the bigger picture. This is a great example of the attitude you’ll need to pull off being an architect for the night. Avoidant, detached, but super decisive and confident. 

When Mary and Pat meet up with Tucker, we get to see a great example of how to behave if you run into another fake architect out on a halloween night, or even worse, a real one. Tucker takes the initiative and asks Pat about any major works he’s completed. This is what you want to do - ask the other person about their portfolio, what have they completed, but even better, what are the working on right now, or what’s “on the boards” as we say. This will give your fellow architect, real or fake, time to elaborate and give you time to think of an excuse to get out of the conversation before you’re caught by a question you can’t answer.

But, if you get caught on the back foot and are asked about your body of work, don’t paint yourself into a corner. Pat takes the approach of naming a building in another part of the world, hoping it will be too obscure for anyone to have been to, but Tucker calls his bluff, proving to be well-travelled. Pat has to pivot a few times before he’s able to name a building that Tucker doesn’t recognize, and it’s not very graceful.

Alternatively,  we can look at another archi-pretender - none other than Seinfeld’s George Costanza. Jerry’s best friend has a go-to lie of telling new acquaintances and strangers that he’s an architect. George is notoriously  unemployed through out much of the series. When George is asked about his body of work, he takes credit for the 1990’s addition to the Guggenheim museum, which was actually part of the original design by Frank Lloyd Wright that just never got built - but this claim is so outrageous and bold, so high profile, no one questions it. But George wasn’t always so daring with his claims. The first time he tries to pass himself off as architect he tells someone he designs railroads, to which the other person rightfully asks, don’t engineers do that?  To which George says “sometimes.”

We’ve established that vagueness and grandeur can get you far in your architect act, but it can be helpful to know some facts, especially about local architecture - and be hyper specific. Architects love details - it’s better to know something super granular about one single building or architectural style than it is to have a general knowledge base, and if anyone asks you about other buildings, just scoff and say “you call that design?”

Many people love the idea of architecture and being an architect, but don’t know specifics, so a little self assurance and a few juicy details can go a long way. Did you know that the spire on the Empire State Building was originally designed as a dock for Zeppelins? Ha! Remember, there’s nothing higher than architect.

I hope you have a wonderful Halloween, whether you go in costume or come as you are, and I will see you in the next episode.